To Judas; Whom I loved
written by: Jennifer Sides
Copyright © 11/9/06, Jennifer Sides
Do you remember when I called you? Oh, how I fondly remember the day that you and I along with the others went to the mountain. I prayed throughout the night and after daylight settled in I gathered you together to Myself and chose twelve of you to be My disciples. That was just at the beginning of our lifelong relationship. Although; ironically; the end of our lives has left us in two totally different realms.
I know what you are contemplating and the eternal destiny you have chosen as your own. As I hang here about to be crucified and you hang there in the balance of your fate; I wish it were not to late to ask My Father in heaven to forgive you as I am now asking him to forgive the others who put Me here. You see, I loved you. I would have died for you had you only followed Me home to the place I will be preparing.
Do you remember how soon after I chose you we all walked down the mountain together and met the multitudes who were sick and tormented with unclean spirits? My Father performed many miracles through Me that day. You saw them with your very own eyes. He even allowed Me to give you His power from on high to perform many miracles as well and all the more greater. You walked with Me for many days afterwards participating in the midst of My Fathers’ plan. You were given special privileges beyond your own recognition. You were entrusted to play a part in the most incredible journey of all time. Oh, how I longed for your heart to be made pure and holy. You played the part well but you never totally surrendered to the call.
I gave a message that day as I began speaking of the beatitudes. Do you remember how I looked at you and the other disciples just before I began? My eyes were filled with such compassion as I began to prepare your hearts for a new life. It saddens Me to know that the woes I pronounced were what you chose to become. Woe to you Judas for you were the one who became rich and received no consolation! There was a way of escape! You could have become poor so that you would have inherited the kingdom of heaven! Don’t you remember me saying that? I said those very words to each and every one of you who were on that mountain! Oh, how I hope they realize what you did not. I hope they understand it deep inside their souls that many are called, but few are chosen. You see, he who endures till the end shall be saved. If only you had repented and turned from your evil ways!
The very heart of my message came next. Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, and pray for those who spitefully use you. You used Me, Judas. You used Me to become something that you now realize you could not be. You were wise in your own eyes only to become a fool. You partook of My affections for you and the love that I freely give. You stayed around until you thought you did not need Me anymore. I wish you would have realized that I am all you ever really needed. I am more than enough! You became a partaker of the Holy Spirit and tasted the good word of God among the thorns and in doing so you fell away and it became impossible for you to be renewed again by repentance being that My Father gave you over to a depraved mind.
You walked along side of the disciples and Myself daily in what could have been sweet fellowship. We had so many things to rejoice over like the time the multitude of five thousand were fed with only five loaves of bread and two fish. They were even full from such a wonderful feast with plenty of food left over! You even saw a little girl who was brought back to life. Boy, were her parents ever so grateful! You saw a man blind from birth receive his sight but you refused to see and understand with the spiritual insight that I so desperately wanted you to receive. Yet, this man believed and received Me immediately.
I even remember (although I was asleep at first) how you were afraid for your life when we were in the boat and the storm came. Though now; for some reason you have chosen to take that life you were so afraid for. Yes, had you not chosen this way out you would still be on the road that leads to destruction. You were committing spiritual suicide from the darkness that was in your heart. I feared for you and longed for you to seek My Fathers’ will. In the midst of so many miracles you allowed your cares for this world to be the god of your desires.
One thing I really find heart wrenching is that you deceived yourself because you were hardened by sin’s deceitfulness. You felt you had no need for fellowship with me or the brethren and therefore you departed from the one true living God with an evil heart of unbelief. I wish you had received our encouragement and prayers. You were so caught up with the cares of this world and what it has to offer. Judas, you can’t take those things with you when you go. I know you know that now. There will be many riches in the kingdom of heaven. There is even a mansion I invited you to share with Me and I would have gladly welcomed you with the open arms I had for you down here on earth.
You said you believed in Me and you even traveled many a journey along side of Myself and the disciples. Did you not know that even the demons believe and tremble? Think of all the precious moments you spent with the other disciples getting to know them yet they never really knew you. It pains Me to say that My Father never knew you as well. We even allowed you to handle the money box in your own privacy and you stole from it whenever you felt the need. That money was for the poor. What is even more troublesome is that your soul was poorer than those who had no material possessions.
You were a counterfeit parading around as a false witness on My behalf. You were a blind guide imitating the Pharisees while being full of extortion and self-indulgence. Many unbelievers choose people who behave as you have to be one of their many excuses for why they deny the faith and want no part of Me. You could have become a stumbling block to My little ones but fortunately I can say that your false testimony has not harmed them. They were so busy examining their own hearts and wondering about their own loyalty to Me. You know how Peter is. He can be so weak at times; like the day when he got out of the boat and was walking over to Me on the water. He could have drowned when he took his eyes off of Me. Yet, he still had enough faith to call out to Me to save Him. Many people who are walking in the dark such as you were will claim to know Me in the days that lie ahead. They will cause My little ones to stumble and fall away like a leaf blowing off a tree in the wind never to return.
The very last time that you saw Me before that kiss of betrayal supper had just ended and it was right before The Feast of Passover. By that time you had already allowed Satan to overtake your soul. You walked out as Peter was leaning on my bosom. I did not wash your feet because you had no part of Me. You were only concerned about being clean on the outside. How could you have not seen the love that I have for such a lost and dying world? After all; they are who I am here for now. They are who I will rise again for in three days. They are who I will come back for with the angels when My Father sends Me.
Instead of greeting Me with a holy kiss you used what My Father made for good and broke My greatest commandment. You not only betrayed Me but you betrayed the disciples with whom you spent so much valuable time breaking bread with. They loved you as well. They prayed for you and would have laid down their lives for you just as I am now laying My life down for all of those who choose to follow Me. Matthias will pick up where you left off in the ministry. When I call someone to do the Fathers' will I always make a way for it to come to pass. I will always raise up another willing vessel to be used for My glory.
With all of My life’s blood,
Judas, I have to be going. There are others here who wish to betray Me. They are mocking Me now. They are saying and doing horrible things. Though it is not with a kiss it hurts just the same. I sure hope that My Father forgives them before it is to late. At one time the world did not have your bad example to use as a guide on how not to live. I know there will be some who will heed that warning. Unfortunately; there will be many more just like you. There are a few of My followers here. It is so good to know that they love Me enough to come and witness what is taking place. I can already picture some of their faces when they see Me standing before them in a few days. Especially when Thomas sees My scars! He will have no doubt that I am alive!
To the reader: Do you remember when you were called? Do you remember that moment of truth where you made the most important decision with your heart for your soul? Since then do you find that you have been betraying Jesus? If you are betraying him or someone else (even if it is an enemy) the bottom line is that you are betraying the very one you say you are living for. Not only are we supposed to live for him we are supposed to die for him if it ever really comes down to it. Jesus said, if you love me you will keep my commandments. The first being to love the Lord your God with all of your heart, mind, soul and strength. The second being to love your neighbor as yourself. Jesus said, no greater love has no man than this that he lay down his life for his friends. That is what he did for you.
Are you walking in His truth? This is how you can know and shall assure your heart before Him. If your heart does not condemn you, you can have confidence towards God. And whatever you ask you receive from Him, because you keep His commandments and do those things that are pleasing in His sight. And this is His commandment: that we should believe on the name of His son Jesus Christ and love one another, as He gave us commandment. He who does not keep His commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in Him. He who says he abides in Him ought himself to walk as he walked.
Are you worshiping Him? I do not mean with music. I mean with your lifestyle. You can worship Him all day with music but if you are not worshiping Him in the way that you live you are not worshiping. It is all just lip service. Romans 1:24-25 says, “Therefore God gave them up to uncleanness, in the lusts of their hearts, to dishonor their bodies among themselves, who exchanged the truth for a lie, and worshiped the creature rather than the Creator.” Now it says here that the creature (who is Satan) can be worshiped. I do not literally and personally ever see me singing to Satan. What it is describing here is how they worship by the way they are living their lives. How do you live yours?
Are you glorifying God? Isaiah 43:7 says, “that those who have been called have been called for the glory of God.” 1st Corinthians 10:31 says, “Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” Now if you choose to follow Jesus - Matthew 5:16 says, “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.” Those good works would be by faith in Jesus Christ. They will be because you believe that He died on the cross for your sins and that His shed blood was payment in full for those sins. Once you have confessed them and repented He forgets them as far as the east is from the west. If you remember them it is because Satan is trying to make you feel condemned and wants you to remember your past. Just remind him of his future in the bottomless pit.
Do not be so caught up with the cares of this world that you let them choke the life out of you. Friendship with the world is enmity with God! Do you want to be a true friend of God and fulfill the calling He has for your life? This is what a friend is and it was modeled for us by Abraham in Genesis 22:1-19. This example was also verified as well in James 2:14-24. Do not merely listen to the word and so deceive yourself; do what it says! Do not get caught up in the Judas mode and be turned away at the throne of judgment because the Lord told you he never knew you. You started the race well. Now is the time to endure till the end and finish it! Let God write your story by being the author and finisher of your faith.
Are you lukewarm? Do you think that you are in need of nothing? Do you not realize that without God Almighty as Lord of your life you are nothing and do nothing on your own? He is where your very breath comes from. The one Who is the great landscaper of the entire universe! Without Him to make you whole you are the very thing that he hopes you will be in the beatitudes which is blessed for seeing the spiritual condition you are in. 1st Corinthians 10:12 warns us about being careful not to think we stand firm because we could easily fall!
If you are in any of these categories He has not had you read this far for no reason. He is calling you to make a choice. The time is now to come as you are. It is because you see the condition of your heart and soul in desperate need of a major lifesaving, soul saving operation. There may not be a tomorrow. If you feel Him drawing you near. He wants you to ask Him into your heart and forgive you of your sins. He wants to forgive you of all the things you have done that do not glorify Him.
Now that you have asked Him to be Lord of your life He wants you to live every moment of your life to glorify and worship Him. That means to live your life giving Him praise in all circumstances and telling others about what he has done in your life. Revelation 12:11 says,”And they overcame Him by the blood of the Lamb (being Jesus) and the word of their testimony.” (which is telling and living by example the new life that He has created in you) You are now a disciple and what a disciple does is go out and tell every one they can about Jesus. By doing so you are snatching sinners out of the fire that you have just been snatched out of.
After Jesus had risen He appeared before the 11 disciples and took them to Galilee up into the mountain which He had appointed for them. He spoke to them saying, “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. Go, therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” AMEN
Then in Acts 2:4 as the disciples began to witness about Jesus the church began to grow in number with 3,000 more disciples added the first day. This has been recorded as one of the many examples for how we are to live as we follow Christ. In that day and age so far on average every 1 out of 12 disciples fell away. That would mean that possibly 251 disciples fell away never to repent and turn from their ways. If you are a disciple; which category do you fit in?
Now a servant of the Lord must not quarrel but gentle to all, able to teach, patient, in humility correcting those who are in opposition, if God perhaps will grant them repentance, so that they may know the truth, and that they may come to their senses and escape the snare of the devil, having been taken captive by him to do his will. Just remember that the Lord works in you and through you to will and to do of His good pleasure. You have to trust the Lord and ask Him for guidance as He leads you on this new journey.
As you walk this walk of faith remember to daily examine yourself as we are instructed to do in 1st Corinthians 13:5-6. Remember to study the scriptures to make you wise so that you can receive salvation through faith as we are instructed to do in 2nd Timothy 3:15.
May you have peace through a clear conscience as you seek first the Lord and His will with all of your heart, mind, soul and strength!